After an event so shocking and so all-consuming as the death of Ashleigh’s friend everything else seems trivial. I do intend, however, to return this blog to trivialities.
When someone so young is taken in a manner so horrible as this a strange thing happens. Many people, so many people, are affected. They react not to the loss of a much loved friend, but to the tragedy. Those who did not know her, who did not love her, are touched by the circumstance and also feel the need to participate in the grief. There is a canonisation of the victim, as people who participate at this level grieve the horror of the event rather than the loss of the person. These people have only the very best of intention, but their involvement in the grieving process can affect those who knew and loved her the most. The inner-circle of grief. The wave of other mourners can push the process along in directions unexpected. It can force the inner-circle of grief to make decisions and participate in ways they would not have chosen.
For this reason I will not write of this event again. I have decided to do this out of respect for that inner-circle of grief. They need the space and time to grieve in the way that is best for them.
Please accept my heartfelt thanks for your words of support. Please know that we are moving forward the same way that every person in this circumstance would. You put one foot in front of the other until one day you notice that you are walking.