Today I am tired.
I am tired of a bed that is so hard it hurts my shoulders.
I am tired of eating lean cuisine at 10pm in said hard bed.
I am tired of shopping at the quickee mart.
I am tired of water-saving shower nozzles that wet the back of my head and the back of my knees simultaneously leaving the rest of my body dry, yet somehow soak the bathmat which is outside behind a closed glass door. (with our giant brains and opposable thumbs, surely this is not the best we can come up with to save the planet… come the revolution… come the revolution!)
I am tired of seeking a laundromat to wash our clothes.
I am tired of walking back and forth up the hill to the hospital with people who have squeaky shoes and forget the keep left rule.
I am tired of eating crappy food because it is easier than trying to find something decent.
MOST OF ALL, I am tired of being so damned far away from my people.
EVEN more than that, I am tired of watching my son lose all the colour in his face every time he’s asked to do something. He is very compliant. He will swing his legs to the edge of the bed, take a deep breath, stand himself up, take bigger steps, lift his legs, lower his legs, blow in the tube and have a needle. He will do it all without complaint, but it hurts him and it exhausts him. I just sit and watch. I am tired of feeling useless.